My friend Mary Fry died yesterday of lung cancer. Given approximately 18 months, she stuck around for 5 and lived the hell out of them. This photo is quintessential of our relationship; Mary saying something no doubt outrageous and cracking me up. With a strong opinion on everything and sure of always being right she ruled her circle of friends with love, humor, and steely resolve :). Gonna miss you Mare. Already do.
Shall we close the flood gates just a titch please?
Breast cancer, Notre Dame, the news of divorce of one of my favorite people on the planet and the inevitable and deep pain that will bring her and her husband, Mary’s last wish of spending Easter weekend with her family in Lake Placid, Sri Lanka, and now her death. I am finding humor in short supply. Everyday I am glad mom isn’t alive for all of this. AND WHERE IS THE FUCKING SUN?
Sun in the form of other than rays.
I am falling WAAAAYYYY behind in my thank yous. The books, the bad ass earrings, the comfy electric comforters… yes, 2! one for home, one for Boston ;), the bringing of meals (all you queasy chemo patients out there, Viet Namese Pho is the way to go!) , the succulents, the orchids, the gorgeous box from Burma, the cards, the knitting projects, the unicorn hat from Martha that looks WAY cuter on her than me (and thus will reside in Boston), the hugs, the flying in from China, the driving with brothers, sons and daughters, and friends, my bouqueted room chez Gallagher (sorry Kare, but it is now officially my room. You don’t have a leg to stand on) friends stopping by, friends sleeping over so my dogs won’t be alone, sons and daughters calling, cooking impromptu dinners for friends that I thought I had enough energy to cook for, all the snuggles, the taking care, it’s formidable. And I thank you everyone.
Pretty Boring Aggressive Breast Cancer Update (seems oxymoronic but there you have it)
So chemo #2 down. Felt much better post this one than the first, a little change up in how they delivered the meds. Thought you oenephiles out there might like to know that for a couple hours post chemo my urine is the color of a fine Rosé. The acupuncturist came by to poke my ears helping with anxiety (which I don’t have but can’t hurt), nausea, relaxation, etc. I immediately fell asleep (those hospital warm blankies help).
Thus far I am pretty symptom free from all the long acting meds they give with the chemo. I have figured out how to sleep which is lovely. So that’s it my loving friends. Thank you for being there and sharing in this interesting life. ❤
A montage of spring, puppy love from Finlay and Haggis (watching GOT with me), old friends in strange places, and unicorn hats.
Mary's Plan for Parenting Her Cancer 
So sorry to hear about Mary. Just doesn’t seem to want to stop raining. You seem Ok given the circumstances? true? Love you. Don’t know what to do.
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Does feel deluge like. Nothing to do but be. I love you too. Sorry I haven’t called re latest Maine news. Will this weekend.
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And sun has come to Boston now that you aren’t here, Mary. Ugh. We’ve got to get this right. Let’s just have some sunshine over all of New England. We all deserve it… 😘😘😘
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When it rains, it pours?? Life is messy- the good, the bad and the truly awful all play starring roles! Someone famous once sang “the sun will come out, tomorrow…” just keep that in mind and think about how vastly huge your circle is that you get to go through shit with your people and they get to go through yours with you! And then there’s all the love, too!! Sending mine to you. 💕💕
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I am amazed and in awe of my circle, Deidre, and happy you are in it. ❤
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1. Sending my very breast wishes for you and those you love to be surrounded by immense love, comfort and happiness.
2. I am more in awe of you (and your fabulous outlook) now than the admiration I had for you when we were in high school. And that was pretty much a lot.
3. I’ll quietly follow your journey cheering you on in every step you take. However, if there is something I can do from here, (Clinton CT), I’d be glad and honored to help.
I’m sitting here trying to think of funny boob jokes, but I’m sure they’ll come around-in the “nip” of time.
Katherine (Kathy) Christopher
3.
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Thanks so much Kathy :).
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You’re amazing and will parent those grandkids-to -be to become human rights and environmental advocates. Mary strong!! Sending love and healing ❤️
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Mary, in light of what you’re dealing with, your courage to share it is truly beautiful. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. That picture is a testament to your life well loved with each other. NEEDED THIS: “Both/And invites us to move beyond binary thinking.” In loss there’s shared grief, connection and generosity. I’m looking at my binary thinking today and hoping to crack open a little more space in my perspectives. Thank you for that, Mary. Sending love from the plains of South Dakota, drinking coffee in the kitchen of my childhood home.
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Sending much love and healing from Lagos, Nigeria. Remain courageous.
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